boston progress radio

It is no big surprise to me that the Beijing Olympics are starting today, 08/08/08. You see, the number 8 is a special one in Chinese culture because in mandarin eight or “ba” sounds like “fa” which is associated with prosperity also known as getting rich beyond your wildest dreams.

For many folks of Chinese heritage, this is an “auspicious” date for special events like buying a new house, having a baby shower, and peeling the protective cover off your new TV that you bought two years ago. In particular, many folks of Chinese heritage are choosing this date to get married. Makes sense right? Don’t you want prosperity in your marriage?

So, I was not surprised to learn in this article (and this one) that a large number of weddings are happening worldwide today. What was surprising was the following bit that I read:

But it’s not just brides and grooms of Chinese descent choosing the lucky date.

Rob Johnsen and Polly Cohen, both 37, will marry Friday on Bainbridge Island, where they will celebrate with a Chinese-themed reception…

Though neither is Chinese, Cohen, a film producer from Los Angeles, spent childhood summers in Minnesota attending Chinese language camp.

“We’re trying to be fun and playful and very nontraditional,” Johnsen said. “Instead of a cake-eating ceremony we’re going to have a Chinese candy-eating ceremony.”

The wedding invitations were decorated with chopsticks and stuffed with rice candies. Johnsen, a gambler, says eight is his lucky number.

I’m not sure how to feel about this kind of thing. It feels a whole lot like appropriation of Chinese culture. Because I’m pretty sure most Chinese folks wouldn’t put chopsticks on their wedding invitations.

On the other hand, maybe that is pretty much what American culture is all about—appropriation. American culture is a melting pot or a salad bowl. Borrow a little bit of this and a little bit of that. So, in that sense, these folks are just doing the American thing. Somehow, though, this doesn’t feel right to me. This doesn’t feel organic; this feels like genetic modification. It feels like someone took the Asian bok choy and just genetically modified it so that it becomes a hybrid broccoli.

Maybe I’m taking this too seriously. Cause you know, people borrow from cultures all the time. What’s the big deal? Still, this just seems fishy to me. These folks have no association to Chinese culture, but rather insist on a Chinese-themed wedding because it is fun, because they want to be different, “non-traditional.” Maybe I’ll jump over a broom, break a glass with my foot, and roast a pig because that all sounds fun and boy, would that be non-traditional.

I guess I’m wondering what’s wrong with a simple wedding between two people who love each other? Do we need to incorporate traditions from cultures that we have no true affiliation with in order to be non-traditional? Should we travel to Stonehenge and have a wedding during the spring equinox cause it is “cool to be pagan”? Heck, for a truly unique experience, maybe one should pay millions of dollars to have a wedding on the International Space Station!

Personally, I believe that traditions and wedding events are made unique by the two people participating in the ceremony, by the actions they undertake during the ceremony, by the folks invited to the wedding interacting together to make the event special. By using symbols and talking about moments that have true meaning on a personal level, the wedding is made unique. In this day and age, where authenticity is sometimes buried under insecurities and social pressure, it would be refreshing to simply have a wedding that has meaning built from the individuals involved rather than one where meaning is manufactured.

As I write this, I’m thinking to myself that this line of thinking could easily apply to art. Good art isn’t necessarily what you see hanging in a museum. Good art isn’t just a record that goes platinum five times over. Good art doesn’t have to auction off for millions of dollars. Instead, in my view, good art is an expression of an individual. As long as that expression is authentic and true to the individual’s experience, well, that in itself is unique and special enough.

So, you won’t be seeing me blackening the bride anytime soon. Even though it would be oh-so-fun. Or maybe…

Last 5 posts by eugene

• And I thought I was good at ping pong... - November 20th, 2008
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• Update - October 19th, 2008
• BAAFF 2008 - October 15th, 2008

Tags: Arts and Culture, Commentary, Love, social expectations.