boston progress radio

Boston Progress Radio is once again participating in this month’s Youth Media Blog-a-thon spearheaded by Youth Outlook and WireTap Magazine. This month’s topic: sex.

As one of those awkward, socially quiet kids growing up, I never really developed an interest in dating, sex, and all that until an abnormally older age. I would say that I was pretty academically oriented back when I was in elementary and middle school. As a heterosexual man, I was surprisingly not interested in women (well… that’s probably a lie, maybe I was too shy.) A large part of that can be attributed to my “traditional Confucian” upbringing—my parents emphasized book smarts education to no end. That left little time to hone my suave pick-up skillz. (Or again, maybe I was just too shy.)

One area of education in which my parents offered no guidance was the topic of sex. Sexual intercourse was never discussed in the household. Sex is taboo. I’m not sure whether the whole “sex is taboo” attitude was a result of my parents’ conservative ways or because they were “Chinese” or simply because they have lived a large part of their lives in a Puritanical society where sex is still quite taboo.

Given the fact that I have no point of reference, I could easily point the finger at the Chinese factor. As I’ve grown older, I’ve quickly realized that this factor is indefensible. (My parents often say: “Chinese people don’t do that, or Chinese people are like this or like that… but in reality, it is just their view of what Chinese people do.) I think the more important factor is the Puritanical society thing. My mother actually listens to Dr. Laura Schlessinger for advice on relationships and sex and all that. That might tell you something.

Luckily for me, I was able to learn about the “birds and bees” through some decent sex education offered by my public school in elementary school. Though, I would say that resources at the middle school and high school level were somewhat lacking. Nonetheless, I am glad for such resources, but somehow I think parents should be partly responsible for passing on knowledge about sex.

I’m not a father yet, but if I’m one day blessed with children, personally, I think it is my responsibility to teach my children about sex: the reproductive process, safe sex, sexual orientation, and gross anatomy. Granted, I’m not saying it will be easy, but wouldn’t you rather have your children ask you about sex than go off and try it on their own? (On the other hand, maybe I trust those teachers to be able to get through to my kids. But if they are ordered to teach them about abstinence only, well, then I’d have a problem.) There are of course things I haven’t quite figured out like: (a) what age is the right age to start? 5? 10? 13? I’m not sure exactly what age one should broach that subject. (b) I’d like to impart the notion that sex is not only a reproductive tool (as the Catholic church would have you believe), but in many instances is used to convey love. But I don’t want my kid thinking that if you love someone, you have to have sex with them. Eh.

These days my parents still don’t even use the word sex around me. Maybe when I’m older, I’ll understand that mentality, but damn, you’d think that at my age, they would finally be able to use words like that around me. Maybe it is a generational thing that I just have to accept. Or maybe it is just part of being a parent.

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Tags: Sex, Youth Media Blog-A-Thon.