…just for now
Today we are halfway deep into Asian Pacific American Heritage Month 2008, and we’ve managed to keep up our pledged “one post per day” pace.
But it’s getting hard. Yesterday I started and stopped on what felt like a million drafts. Usually, we do our best to hold the weight of the world outside ourselves. There’s war overseas. Famine overseas. Exploitation, incurable disease, corrupt people in power. All overseas.
I’m really good at pretending it’s all happening in a different world. In the process, I forget we have all those things here in the States, natch, here in Boston.
I was never a tough kid. I wasn’t the kid who scrapped in the hallway or outside the train station or wherever. But I also ain’t a punk. And somewhere along the line I developed this “don’t fuck with me” expression that I wear when I’m outside my comfort zone. And I can’t remember the last time someone did. If you’re walking down the sidewalk while I’m walking up it, you’re going to move to the side, or we’re going to bump into each other. I’m not moving for you, or for anyone.
And to do that, I suppose I have had to convince myself that everyone is more likely an enemy than friend. Everyone does it to some extent.
But then there’s an earthquake in China. A cyclone in Burma. Earthquake in Pakistan. Hurricane in New Orleans. Tsunami in Indonesia. And for some of us, that outside starts to crack a little, or maybe a lot.
I don’t mean to bring the difficulties of real life into a blog, which is generally what we read to escape real life.
I guess I just feel foolish that as I sit here, I’m having difficulty coming up with new shit to write about on a day-to-day basis, and that sometimes I feel like that outside I be carrying might not hold up that much longer.
Sorry to have forced you to indulge me for now. Tomorrow we return to regularly scheduled blog posts.
Last 5 posts by giles
- 9021...oh, I thought... - August 15th, 2008
- Eat It Hard Spain - August 11th, 2008
- Love or Something or Other - July 15th, 2008
- Hollywood? - July 9th, 2008
- That's All You're Good For... - June 25th, 2008
The blog world can be an escape, but we are all real people in the real world. When bad shit happens, I take a step back and think about all that I have and try to complain a little bit less. Try not to get so angry. Try not to go toe to toe with someone I don’t even know. Try to love my friends and family a little more.